7 Cool People on Their Best Dinner Party Tips
Plus, what I learned during my first dinner party
In early May, I hosted my very first dinner party ever. Granted, I’ve hosted (fabulous) birthday, housewarming and Halloween parties in the past for sometimes more than 50 guests. But this was a different undertaking, and one I was nervous about pulling off. I rejected most offers to bring food because I wanted to see if I could do it myself. It was an exercise for the sake of effort, like the Iron Man race.
That being said, the smartest thing I did was ask for the friends who had foldable dining chairs to bring them, and for the friends who knew about wine to bring some. I also made sure the table was set and ready to go the day before saved me from worrying about finding three more wine glasses and fussing with candles at the last minute. I made sure dessert, a chocolate terrine, was done and setting in the freezer before starting on anything else. I prepped some some very basic crudités for cocktail hour, but next time I would make twice as much because 1) my friends can eat 2) dinner always starts later than you intend. You can watch my full recap of the evening below.
And still I found myself a little frazzled when the first guest arrived, schvitzing after just having gotten ready, monitoring the lasagna in the oven, and still finalizing some last minute details like lights and music. Turns out, you can never be too prepared — and there’s always room for improving the next time you host! Thus the impetus for this post!
“What is your best or most underrated tip for throwing a great dinner party?”
That’s the question I posed to some of my good Judies in the food world, and their responses are the kind I wish I had sought *before* hosting my first dinner party ever. Admittedly, there isn’t a lot of info on what specific dishes to actually make in this post however (!) I’m working on a very special follow-up to this about building menus. So keep an eye out for that!
Call in reinforcements.
“Be smart about who you're asking to bring what. Your perpetually late friend shouldn't bring appetizers. If your friend is a novice in the kitchen, ask them to bring ice. Your job as the host is to orchestrate a night with as little stress as possible and that means leaning in and accepting people's strengths (and weaknesses).”
—Alexis Deboschnek, author of the newsletter Side Dish and the cookbooks To the Last Bite and Nights and Weekends, out August 12, 2025
“I'm very into collaborative dinner parties. I'll set the general vibe for the menu, but if you build a killer cheese board or make a perfect salad, that's one less thing for me to do! One time my friends came over with a couple batched cocktails and printed drink menus — it was so cute!”
—Casey Elsass, cookbook writer and author of the new cookbook What Can I Bring?
Go for big-and-shareable.
“Create a visual centerpiece for your guests to enjoy! My signature Brown Paper Board is the perfect party trick/hack to keep your guests well fed and entertained throughout the whole night! Set it up, forget about it, and let your guests eat throughout the night, then the clean up is as easy as rolling the paper and throwing it out!”
“Making your cocktail or mocktail in a large batch quantity is such a great time saver and allows you to really enjoy your guests instead of making individual drinks.”
—Edy Massih, owner of Edy’s Grocer, author of the cookbook Keep It Zesty
Plan and prep as much as possible.
“Work backwards and make an hour-by-hour schedule of when each thing needs to go in the oven, when it needs to chill, when it needs to do each of those pieces. Because once you start, you're going, and then it's really hard to figure out each of the components.”
“Also, don't use a brand new recipe. I do every single time, but that causes a lot of stress. Try to use things that you already know are going to work. Don't overcomplicate it — people are happy that you're feeding them. It doesn't need to be the most groundbreaking thing you've ever done.”
—Audrey Leonard, creator (@redcurrantbakery) and author of the cookbook Süss.
“If I'm hosting a dinner or party, I want to participate in it! That means most dishes can be fully assembled ahead of time, served at room temperature, or can be in the oven waiting to come out right before serving. Exceptions of course are boiling pasta or throwing something on the grill, but the theme is it's got to be easy. Save the deep frying for another day.
Whether I'm cooking for four or 25, I start by planning a menu and breaking it down by what can be prepped in advance. Pie dough can be made up to a week in advance, most vegetables can be prepared and stored in the refrigerator a day or two ahead of time, sauces, vinaigrettes, and marinades can also be made in advance.”
—Alexis Deboschnek
Remember, it’s a dinner *party*.
“Don't rush the meal. Plan about 30 to 40 minutes for cocktails and nibbles. It gives everyone a chance to get comfortable and toasted enough that if the food doesn't come out great, they won't notice!”
— Adam Roberts, author of The Amateur Gourmet Newsletter and several books including the new novel Food Person.
“Give everyone a job, even if it's a fake one. Guests relax when they have a purpose and don't feel like they're hovering around. I ask someone to pick out a few records from my collection, I let someone else set up the drinks station, I'll send a couple friends to set the table together. It helps shy guests feel plugged in immediately.”
“I like to mix and match friend groups at my dinner parties — but I want the groups to mingle and not just cling to who they already know. So a couple days before the dinner, I like to send out a group email with everyone's name, occupation, and a prompt to ask them about something unique. For example, ‘ask her about handing out pasta with Kelly Benison’ or ‘ask him about being crowned Mr. Biscuit at the International Biscuit Festival.’ (These are real past examples!) That way everyone already has a convo entry point to meet someone new!”
—Casey Elsass
Think about your exit strategy.
“Not enough people ask themselves, how do you want the party to end? You need to think through what clean up looks like — if you're recruiting friends or saving it for your regularly scheduled cleaning lady? How you want guests to transport leftovers home (if there are any)? I always hate when you can tell that a host wants people to leave, but can't seem to officially ask them to depart. Let your place be a safe space to hit your guests with the ole ‘You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.’”
—Abena Anim-Somuah, food writer and creator of the Your Friend in Food newsletter
“The biggest gift you can give yourself is to make sure you have an empty dishwasher and/or drying rack before the party starts.”
—Alexis Deboschnek
Take notes.
“After your guests leave, or the next morning over your coffee, take a moment to reflect on the evening and make note of what worked and what didn't. You can take physical notes, but mental ones work, too. Whichever will help you build on the experience for next time. What were the hits and misses? What notes do you have for the recipes and should you make them again? What guests were a breeze to entertain and which ones… not so much! The next time you have people over, you’ll be glad for these reminders.”
—Dan Pelosi, creator (@grossypelosi) and author of the cookbooks Let’s Eat and Let’s Party, out September 2, 2025.
Responses have been edited for brevity and clarity.
Loved reading this
An honour to be included!!