Usually I bring my own bags to the grocery store. I don’t want any more reusable totes filling up every crevice in my apartment, and I feel guilty about throwing them away. But today I needed a bag at a Brooklyn Harvest Market. The cashier checked out my few items and passed over a stiff blue bag. It wasn’t until I was down the block that I noticed a large seal on the bag that read CITY OF NEW YORK POLICE with THE GREATEST DETECTIVES IN THE WORLD looping around it.
For a second, I thought it was a promo for a new movie or something, and then I misread it as having something to do with the Drug Enforcement Agency? I’m not a big fan of the NYPD, so I considered doing the dramatic and taking it back. I didn’t, but I felt uncomfortable on the 10-minute walk home with this huge decal emblazoned on my side. I only found out when I got home that “DEA” stands for Detectives’ Endowment Association, a labor union. What is going on here? Can someone please tell me if they’ve seen something like this before because I haven’t.
First of all, in an equal world, I’d have nothing against detectives. Second of all, go unions — just not police unions :) They protect bad cops. They don’t stand with their fellow unions. They stop positive reforms within their profession. And they pressure legislators and officials to inflate police budgets astronomically at the expense of the things we need like schools, libraries, streets, sanitation, housing, transportation, mental health services, etc. — all services that would actually help prevent and reduce crime, not that they’re interested in that! — all so that they can get loads of overtime pay and fancy, militarized weapons, vehicles and tech.
Is the Brooklyn Harvest Market/Foodtown chain so broke that they are taking money from a police union? Or do they just pass out these branded bags for free? Don’t you think customers are going to, at best, find it odd that the store — and now, by carrying the bags, them — are doing PR for a law enforcement union? And it begs the question: Why is the NYC DEA doing advertising on grocery bags in the first place?
In July, these folks, along with 12 other police unions, endorsed (former NYPD officer) Eric Adams for Mayor of New York City. You know, the guy who was indicted on charges of bribery, wire fraud and receiving donations from foreign nationals (the charges were dropped “with prejudice”, but only so the Trump administration couldn’t hold him hostage). The guy, whose admin made old school corruption cool again and is currently polling at 8%, shockingly lower than the Republican candidate Curtis Sliwa??
I don’t know why this bag sent me off the deep end like this. In reality, partnerships like this probably happen more often than I know, with little league teams or whatever, and it’s not a big conspiracy. But frankly, I’m not interested in being a walking ad for an organization I don’t support. It was probably just really bad timing that I got handed this bag — which I can only internalize as a perfect omen for the United States’ increasing state-sponsored propaganda, police militarization and military police-ization… — with. everything. going. on. right now.
I’ll never forget my bag again!
Updates
I’m on (in?) Bon Appétit!
Finally someone wanted to talk to me about the thing I’m most passionate about: corn-flavored sweets. We talked about the corn pastry cream from my corn cream trifles and why people keep putting corn on the dessert menu! I’m only featured in a small section, but it’s still a fun read and you might see some other names you recognize if you follow other baking creators…
We hit 25,000 Substack subscribers! Here’s a Thank You Offer!
I never thought Substack would be such a big part of the easygayoven operation, but here we are and I’m so glad! As a thank you to all of you, I want to extend an special offer for paid subscriptions. Times are really tough and people are reigning in their budgets, so no worries if you can’t right now, but if you’ve been waiting for the right time to become a paid subscriber, I’m offering 25% paid subscriptions for 12 months. This special ends October 2.
Catch me going Substack Live on That’s a Gay Ass Podcast
If you don’t understand what that means, you’re normal. I’ll be the guest on an upcoming bonus episode of Eric Williams’ That’s a Gay Ass Podcast. We’ll be going live here on Substack Tuesday, September 30 at 8 p.m. ET, so you can watch along and ask questions in the chat, etc, but it’ll also live on Eric’s page forever (yikes!). It’s the only podcast I know that boasts Tony winner Beth Leavel and also several adult stars as guests … and now me!
This Week’s Recipe
Be honest, you or your generous gardener neighbor still has a lot of zucchini to go through even though it’s fully ORANGE AND BROWN FOOD SEASON. These muffins use up a ton of the green stuff — and you don’t even have to do the messy work of straining it! We want all that juice!
There are three distinct textures going on here. One is plush, tender zucchini bread. (Okay, it’s kind of cake but I did restrain myself on the sugar content considering the next two components.) Next up, a luscious, vanilla scented cream cheese filling that wakes up each bite with some tang. Finally, the brown sugar crumble topping is like the stuff that comes on the cinnamon crunch Panera bagel, in the best way.
Let’s talk about getting picture-perfect muffins. Here are a few tips I’ve picked up after developing a few recipes of my own.
Overfill the wells. Turns out the key to bigger muffins is… more batter! If you want your muffins to have distinctive muffin top edges and a lofty mound, filling your wells two-thirds up isn’t enough, you should go all the way to the top.
Turn up the temp. Starting muffin batter at a higher oven temperature than you would bake, for example, a cake at ensures that the outside heats up much faster than the inside, heating up the air in the batter, expanding the batter and sending the cooler insides upwards, which forms the dome. I turn down the temperature halfway through to set the inside of the muffins without overcooking the outsides.
Rest your batter. Chilling your batter in the fridge for a half hour or even up to overnight (I haven’t tested that with this specific recipe but you can let me know!) can also help by relaxing the gluten and fully hydrating the dry ingredients.
Zucchini Bread Cheesecake Muffins
Makes 12 muffins
Ingredients
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